I had always been fascinated how early the younger sibling figures out how to annoy the older sibling. From a journal entry in 1974, when Michelle was 15 months old, Emma was 3.
When Emma came home from nursery school, she asked me to read Green Eggs and Ham. She settled on my lap in the small black chair, and I began to read. Michelle immediately came over protesting, tried to climb into the chair. I assumed she wanted to listen to the story so I asked Emma to move to the couch, so we all could fit. But then Michelle started grabbing the book, bringing me her books to read.
Finally Michelle used one of the cardboard blocks to climb on the ottoman; from there she lunged for the big black chair where Terry was sitting with Emma and Erin. She didn’t quite make it and had to be rescued, but she had achieved her purpose–the reading stopped. I’ve noticed that she often starts fussing if someone picks up Emma, reads to her, pays her exclusive attention in any way, shape, or form
I’m glad to see such self-assertion on her part, even though I feel pulled in two directions now with both of them clamoring for exclusive attention. It frees me from being Michelle’s defender. More and more I can let them learn to handle their disputes by themselves. I know Emma’s worst won’t really hurt Michelle, and Michelle’s protests more than enough to warn me if any mayhem is actually occurring. Once or twice lately I’ve rushed in ready to scold Emma, when Michelle’s protests had absolutely nothing to do with her. For the first time since Michelle was born, I can’t read to both of them at the same time.
Her big sister’s being away at school mornings seems to have encouraged Michelle to increase her demands. If she could get rid of Emma in the mornings, why not all day?