Reolution for a Family Friendly America



1974, 1998

I have 4 daughters and 5 brothers. I have witnessed a surfeit of sibling squabbles. I had hoped Obama’s becoming the presumptive nominee would have modulated the bickering between Hillary supporters and Obama supporters. John McCain doesn’t understand how Social Security works. When I attended Catholic schools, you couldn’t graduate from 8th grade that ignorant. Explaining Social Securty was an essay question on the history final exam. We have had 8 years of a stupid, invincibly ignorant president. Bloggers are presumably intelligent, articulate, knowledgeable people. Don’t you value Obama’s intelligence, no matter what you think of his politics?

I am one day older than the atom bomb, born the day after Trinity. I was a 1960s radical nonviolent pacifist and am a card-carrying member of the War Resister’s League. I can go spectacularly limp if you try to drag me from the demonstration. I have not changed as I raised 4 daughters, took care of my dying parents 24/7, worked as a public librarian, social worker, childbirth educator, breastfeeding counselor, parent counselor, Internet educator.

We need a nonviolent revolution to transform America into a children-friendly, family-friendly, elder-friendly, human-being-friendly society that is not a disgrace. If you want to have children or take care of your aging parents, you would be better off moving almost anywhere in the world.

I supported Hillary and I am now supporting Obama by holding his clay feet to my progressive fires. I am a million percent sure the US will be better off with him as president than McCain as president. But I have no illusions Obama is a liberal or a progressive. He will only be as liberal as the country forces him to be. I have known that from the beginning, so I don’t feel betrayed by his FISA vote.

Let’s stop squandering the ideas, energy, passion needed for the revolution on destructive family squabbles. I thought the feminists of my generation would change things so that our kids could combine careers and caregiving . I intend to dedicate the rest of my life to making sure my grandchildren can. I have a 15-month old grandson with a granddaughter due in August and another one due in December. I want my grandson and my granddaughters to be equally involved in raising their children.

If you have found managing careers and child cares difficult, wait until a phone call in the middle of the night plunges you into the nightmare of combining elder care and your career. And no, Medicare or Health Insurance does not pay for custodial care and help with the activities of daily life for failing or demented elders who are going to die of their illness. Medicare or Health Insurance might spend hundreds of thousands on death bed heroics. but they won’t pay for an aide willing to change adult diapers. I hope you all are practicing.

I have been a feminist since my brother was born when I was 18 months old. Having 4 more younger brothers reinforced it. The culminating moment was when I was preparing for First Communion and the nun informed me that boys went up first because they could be priests and were closer to God. Sixteen years of misogynistic Catholic education guarantees radical feminism for life.

We need a revolution for a family-friendly America as sweeping as the civil rights movement and the Second Feminist Movement.


About maryjograves

Children are my passion. I have 4 daughters, 5 grandkids under 5 with another on the way, 5 younger brothers, 11 nieces and nephews, 8 great nieces and nephews. I advocate a revolution for a child friendly US. I have been an editor, public librarian, social worker, and internet educator. Tweet @RedstockingGran @ChildrensWings
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